Leave It To The Groundhog
Do you think Punxsutawney Phil's handler is best friend's with a meteorologist?
How do you celebrate Groundhog Day? E & I watch Bill Murray's "Groundhog Day." Super original, I know. I'm actually looking forward to it. Popcorn, snuggling, corny humor = good stuff!!! Happy {almost} Spring to you all!
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Dear Self:
More often than not, introspection is a rather nerve-wrecking experience for me. I delicately tuck things away, hoping they might just vanish like smoke, somehow work themselves out, or at least get so lost in the clutter that I no longer need to acknowledge them. But inevitably they reappear, despite my protests, forcing me to face them with bared teeth and an iron fist.
I do not like to confront myself.
And the reason is this: confrontation causes frustration. Because rather than seeing what little progress has been made, all I see are the failings, shortcomings, long lists of needed improvements yet to be checked off. Or even worse, I uncover something festering that will morph into a monster beyond my control. Scary. Those are the things that really should not go unchecked.
Obviously such thinking {and behavior, or lack thereof} is counterproductive and against my religion. A very deep and dark lord desires to impede me with frustrations and an overwhelming feeling of losing control. I know this. So why do I sub-comb? Self-defeating question. Better left unasked. How do I overcome? Much better question. And for you, the answers are apparent.
Though a little extra nudge and affirmation is always appreciated. And so it was last night as I talked with my visiting teachers. one of them is new and anxious to "know about me." So I told her the basics. Being a wise woman, she then asked the probing characteristic questions that actually teach you about someone, rather than just things about them. Huge difference. And she knew it. So I obliged. Stories that exemplified who I am and the choices that affect why I am that way. Situations that illustrate why I choose to be the type of person that I am. A very healthy self-awareness devoid of pride. It was invigorating. It was healing. It was true. My intelligence feasted on that truth and lifted me up. I recognized worth. I recognized Godly love and acceptance. I recognized "me."
I am not one who shall be easily torn down and led to believe that my meager efforts are fruitless and devoid of direction. That my all, or even partial offering, are not good enough. I am not one who listens to depreciating voices coated with disdain and deceit. I am better than that. I know I am.
More often than not, introspection is a rather nerve-wrecking experience for me. I delicately tuck things away, hoping they might just vanish like smoke, somehow work themselves out, or at least get so lost in the clutter that I no longer need to acknowledge them. But inevitably they reappear, despite my protests, forcing me to face them with bared teeth and an iron fist.
I do not like to confront myself.
And the reason is this: confrontation causes frustration. Because rather than seeing what little progress has been made, all I see are the failings, shortcomings, long lists of needed improvements yet to be checked off. Or even worse, I uncover something festering that will morph into a monster beyond my control. Scary. Those are the things that really should not go unchecked.
Obviously such thinking {and behavior, or lack thereof} is counterproductive and against my religion. A very deep and dark lord desires to impede me with frustrations and an overwhelming feeling of losing control. I know this. So why do I sub-comb? Self-defeating question. Better left unasked. How do I overcome? Much better question. And for you, the answers are apparent.
Though a little extra nudge and affirmation is always appreciated. And so it was last night as I talked with my visiting teachers. one of them is new and anxious to "know about me." So I told her the basics. Being a wise woman, she then asked the probing characteristic questions that actually teach you about someone, rather than just things about them. Huge difference. And she knew it. So I obliged. Stories that exemplified who I am and the choices that affect why I am that way. Situations that illustrate why I choose to be the type of person that I am. A very healthy self-awareness devoid of pride. It was invigorating. It was healing. It was true. My intelligence feasted on that truth and lifted me up. I recognized worth. I recognized Godly love and acceptance. I recognized "me."
I am not one who shall be easily torn down and led to believe that my meager efforts are fruitless and devoid of direction. That my all, or even partial offering, are not good enough. I am not one who listens to depreciating voices coated with disdain and deceit. I am better than that. I know I am.
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